Meaningful Existance

"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account" (Hebrews 4:13).

Someday when I have to account for my life before God, am I going to regret the way I lived?  Am I going to wish I had sat down to pray instead of running for the computer?  Am I going to wish I had shared my faith with the unbeliever instead of engaging in meaningless chatter?  Am I going to wish I had considered the needs of others before my own?  Am I going to wish I had treasured my possessions less and the Word of God more?

Life is meaningless if it isn't lived to worship and serve the Giver of life.

Lord, I want my life to mean something.  I want my life to testify to the great things You have done.  I offer my life unto You and ask that You use it for Your glory.  May my life be one of worship and service to You.

Eternal Outlook

Live in the light of eternity.

If I were to live this life with an eternal outlook, how would my life change?  What would I devote my time to?  How would I treat my husband?  How would I raise my children?  What would I say, think, and feel?  What would I treasure in my heart?

I'm certain that God is not pleased by our near-sightedness.  In America--where life is easy and comfort is king--we so often fail to look past the present.  We succumb to choosing an earthly and instant gratification instead of stopping to consider eternity.

God, please continue to work in me and to cultivate the desire to live in the light of eternity.  Develop my far-sightedness that I might make present choices which result in eternal rewards.  Change me, oh God, and use me.  Grant me the wisdom and grace to live this life with an eternal outlook.

Crunch Time

I'm starting to feel like it's crunch time!  Where has Summer gone?!  Warm weather is about to leave us for a season, and I must enjoy what's left of it!  One of my favorite feelings in the whole world is the warmth of the sun soaking into my skin.  (Amber, you know what I'm talking about!...)  When Abel asked me this morning if we could go to the park, I stepped outside, felt the warm sun beating down on me, and said, "Sure!  Let's go to the park today!"  (I'm afraid I wouldn't have so eagerly agreed with his suggestion had the morning greeted me with a chilly wind or a cloudy sky.)  Judging by the forecast, we may be going to the park--or at least finding excuses to be outside--every day this week!

Live Trac PT-10 GPS Tracker

I am amazed by the technology of today and often wonder what will be next. DVDs, cell phones, iPods... these are just a few of the developments I've seen in my short life. I am especially amazed by one of the latest technological developments: GPS Tracking. The Live Trac PT-10 Mobile GPS Tracker gives position updates every 10 seconds (when travelling over 10 mph) or every 20 feet (when walking). This live Internet GPS tracking device makes tracking an elderly person, a child, a teenage driver, a company vehicle--anyone or anything--easy (and with a subscription fee of only $39.99 per month, affordable). Its extended operation capabilites, portability, and global usability make the PT-10 the best option in GPS Tracking. Check it out at liveviewgps.com!

Here I Am

I can't help but feel like the Lord is preparing me for something.  What that something is, I am yet unsure.  It seems that every time I go through a significant trial I am drawn closer to God, desiring more to live for Him and to serve Him in all that I do.  Perhaps the unassigned excitement I feel in my heart is a result of my new eternal perspective gained only after my recent trial of miscarriage.  Faced with having a child go to heaven far earlier than I would have expected or hoped, I have been forced to really consider what this life is all about.  I conclude that, as Paul said, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  If my life is not lived for Christ, it is meaningless.  Outside of fulfilling my duties as a godly wife and mother, I, as I said, am yet unsure of where God might call me.  But as I ponder my excitement to serve Him, I say, "Here I am, Lord.  Send me!"

I Wonder as I Wait

Twenty-one weeks today.  That's how far along I would be with baby Ande whom we lost through miscarriage eight weeks ago.  Eight weeks, yet it feels like forever.  Just as I can scarecly remember life without Abel and Amariah, I can scarcely remember life without Ande--or at least without the hope of Ande.  I miss my baby every day, and I long for the day when we'll meet in heaven.  I am at peace with the waiting (to meet, that is), and yet I wonder.  I wonder what life is like for Ande, privileged to skip out of this sin stained world and right into heaven with Jesus.  I wonder if my baby knows me though we've never met.  I wonder if Ande is a boy or a girl.  I wonder how my baby's early departure will play out in God's perfect plan.  I wonder how I would be looking and feeling at 21 weeks pregnant.  I wonder if God will again open my womb before the January 20, 2009, due date.  I wonder.  I wait.  I trust.  I hope.  "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known" (1 Corinthians 13:12).
 

But For a Moment

This morning I got up with an agenda. Mistake #1. I should know by now that the days I have a plan of attack are the days that seem to attack me.

After getting the kids sat down at the table with their cereals of choice, I headed to the computer to start working on today's first task. Mistake #2. Messes happen when I'm at the table, so why wouldn't they happen when I'm not?

It's funny how my ears turned motherly upon having children. I can now do something I never could before: I can recognize the sound of trouble. So when I heard the sound of the vent cover in the kitchen falling back into place, I knew it was time to see what was going on.

A few weeks ago, Abel unfortunately discovered that the floor vents in our house are designed to be simply lifted out of place. (Why, I don't know. Maybe to get Abel into trouble?) Upon his innocent discovery, I gently instructed him that he was not to remove the vent cover, warning him that it isn't a toy and that he and Amariah could get hurt if the hole was left open. Have I mentioned that Abel is a strong-willed child? At least a few times since then I've had to remind my curious little Abel not to mess with the vent. Immediate obedience has occurred in each instance; but, obviously, not much can be said of his long-term conviction in that area.

This morning as I re-entered the kitchen to investigate the telling sound, I found the kitchen floor covered with cereal, my broom and dust pan lying on the outskirts of the mess, and Abel laying in the midst of the mess with his face over the kitchen vent. As I came closer I realized that he was "cleaning up" the mess by placing the cereal pieces down the vent. (He later confessed that it was indeed he who spilled the cereal and that he had gotten the broom out to clean it up just prior to deciding it would be more fun to push it down the vent. [That's my rough paraphrase, by the way.])

I confess, I was instantly mad. How many times had I told him not to lift the vent cover, to leave it alone and not mess with it? I told him why I was mad, spanked him, and sent him to his room "to think about it." In the meantime, I went to my room to think about it and to calm my anger before further discussing the episode with him.

As I was reflecting on my anger and trying to talk myself out of it, the Lord suddenly called to my mind a verse that I've never memorized but that was nevertheless instantaneously known to me: "His anger is but for a moment" (Psalm 30:5).

But I want to stay angry, I thought. He knew better.

Still fighting the conviction of the Holy Spirit, I started singing as a song came to my mind.

Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me.
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations....

Double conviction! Everyone Abel needs compassion. Everyone Abel needs forgiveness. I knew by the manner in which he went to his room and by the silence with which he sat alone on his bed that he was sorry for what he had done and was surely awaiting my coming that he might repent. It wasn't fair or godly to let my anger remain. He needed relief from his suffering. He needed forgiveness.

Oh, God, I thank You and praise You for the conviction of the Holy Spirit. I thank You for Your word which is "living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12). God, I pray that You would continue to teach me to be "slow to anger, for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God" (James 1:19-20). I thank You for forgiveness and that Your anger is but for a moment, Your favor for a lifetime. Where would I be if not for that?...