Psalm 20

Last night I read Psalm 20 and was greatly encouraged by this prayer that so closely resembles my own.

1May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!
  May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high!
2May He send you help from the sanctuary
  And support you from Zion!
3May He remember all your meal offerings
  And find your burnt offering acceptable!

4May He grant you your heart's desire
  And fulfill all your counsel!
5We will sing for joy over your victory,
  And in the name of our God we will set up our banners.
  May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.

6Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed;
  He will answer him from His holy heaven
  With the saving strength of His right hand.
7Some boast in chariots and some in horses,
  But we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God.
8They have bowed down and fallen,
  But we have risen and stood upright.
9Save, O Lord;
  May the King answer us in the day we call.

Oh, God, how I pray that You will grant me my heart's desires.  I know that You hear my prayers and that You care for me, and I pray that You will fulfill all my petitions.  In You will I rejoice, and in Your name will I boast.  May You be glorified, oh Lord, my God!

05/11/09 Ultrasound

Well, it sounds like we might be having these babies no later than next Friday, May 22nd, the day I turn 36 weeks pregnant.  Today's routine ultrasound revealed that Baby A's two-vessel cord is beginning to cause an issue with her growth.  Weighing in today at a mere 3 lbs. 14 oz. and measuring closer to the size of a 30-week baby than a 34-week baby, she is now being classified as having intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR).  Although she is still growing and otherwise healthy, it is clear that her rate of growth is beginning to slow.  As a result, the perinatologist who reads our ultrasounds is recommending that we not push this pregnancy past 36 weeks with the thinking that Baby A will be able to grow better outside the womb than in and that we will be eliminating the risk of the restricted growth getting worse.  The perinatologist did express that it would be preferable for my body to naturally end this pregnancy by spontaneously going into labor before next Friday (which is my fervent prayer!) than to end up in a planned cesarean on that day, but she also expressed some doubt of that happening due to the fact that my body has previously endured both a 40 week 6 day pregnancy and a 39 week 4 day pregnancy.

I think I took all of this somewhat disappointing news pretty well, but the tears started coming when we started talking dates.  The doctor compassionately asked if I was scared of my babies being born too early, and I nodded yes before adding that much of my emotion was also coming from my deep desire for a natural childbirth.  Despite my momentary disappointment, I know that God is the same no matter what, and I know that nothing is impossible for Him; and I am greatly comforted by these promises as I prayerfully wait to see how this story will end.

In the meantime, my instructions are to rest (to enhance blood flow to the babies), to put a little extra protein in my diet (to enhance growth of the babies), and to go back for bi-weekly NSTs (to monitor the well-being of the babies).  I am fervently praying that God would keep both of our babies in good health until the time of their birth and that He would even miraculously enable Baby A to have a growth spurt in the next week and a half.  Whatever happens, may He be glorified to the utmost!

My Baby Bump

Okay, many of you have been asking for it, so here it is!  I have finally added my current belly picture to the sidebar, and I will do my best to update it weekly!  I hope you enjoy the viewing as much as I enjoy the growing! :-)

Love,
Angela

05/08/09 OB Appointment

I just returned home from my 34-week OB appointment!  I feel so blessed by each passing week of pregnancy and more beautiful the bigger I get.  I find myself smiling at my large baby bump as I think about the reasons for its size.  I even caught myself smiling as I looked at the newly forming stretch marks on my tummy this morning.  I never thought I would react that way to stretch marks--and granted, they really aren't very bad--but now that they're there they seem to me a sort of testimony to the goodness of the Lord in strengthening me to carry my babies long enough to get stretch marks! :-)

Even my doctor expressed joy in my progress, exclaiming, "Thirty-four weeks!" as he walked through the exam room door this morning.  He then went on to say, "You know... most twins deliver between 34 and 36 weeks."  Praise God that I have reached the point at which most twins deliver!  Although, I pray I might go even longer!  May God bring these babies forth only when they are both truly ready to greet this world!

In other praiseworthy news, I gained only 1.2 lbs. over this past week!  They say twins will each gain 1/2 to 3/4 a pound a week at this point in pregnancy, so I think I can claim that only the babies gained weight this time around. :-)  My blood pressure has remained steady at the elevated but normal level it's been for the last couple weeks, and I'm still having no issues with swelling.  The doctor (the same one I saw last week) measured my uterus at 38 cm, 1 cm larger than last week.  I think my normal doctor would have probably measured me bigger; but regardless, growth did occur, and for that we praise God!

As for the babies, they seem to be happy and thriving in their safe and peaceful environment.  They have been passing their daily kick count test with flying colors, and their heart rates remain good (Baby A at 148 bpm and Baby B at 145 bpm)!  We'll check in on them again tomorrow with a routine non-stress test and on Monday with a routine ultrasound.  I look forward to seeing how much they've grown in the past couple weeks!

At next Friday's OB appointment I will find out the results of today's Strep B test and will possibly get my cervix checked.  I have mixed feelings about that--part of me wants to know if I've started to dilate at all, but another part of me wants to decline the check and not risk stirring things up.  After all, I'll still be only 35 weeks along.  I guess I'll be praying for wisdom to make the right decision!

I have to tell you, this pregnancy (and all the circumstances surrounding it) has been an amazing and beautiful thing.  I feel like every detail of it is evidence of God's hand at work in response to the many prayers that have covered us.  I am so excited to watch as this story unfolds; and I pray that no matter what, God will receive all the glory for the things He has done!

Just Because I'm Having Twins...

Lately, I am finding myself thanking God for allowing me to "beat the odds" by remaining pregnant yet another week.  Careless assumptions and over-zealous doctors' orders could easily make a mother-of-twins-to-be begin to feel doomed--doomed to a cesarean, doomed to a premature delivery, doomed to a stay in the NICU.  Realistically, yes, these outcomes seem to occur more frequently for twins than for singletons.  But what is the point of being so pessimistic, as if it isn't a natural or blessed thing to have twins?  I get so tired of the assumption that I will indefinitely deliver early just because I'm having twins, that I will indefinitely need/want a repeat cesarean just because I'm having twins, that things will indefinitely go awry at the 38-week mark (if I'm one of the "lucky" ones to make it that far) just because I'm having twins.

I feel like the whole of this pregnancy has been treated differently just because I'm having twins.  Routine ultrasounds every two to four weeks; routine non-stress tests every week; and talk of trying to make it to 33 weeks, hoping to make it to 36 weeks, and not being allowed to make it past 38 weeks all make me wonder why this pregnancy is treated like a rare, unnatural, risky thing... just because I'm having twins.

Don't get me wrong.  A part of me looks forward to seeing my babies so frequently via ultrasound, and all of me is reassured when my ultrasounds and non-stress tests testify to the favorable growth and development and health of my babies.  But at the same time, a part of me longs to be treated like this pregnancy is the natural, blessed thing that I know it is.  (Many of you have indeed encouraged me in this manner, and for your prayers and optimistic support I am so thankful!  It's really just the general treatment of a twin pregnancy of which I speak, so please forgive my blanket statements.)

Thankfully, my hope and trust is not in the careless assumptions of man or in the (what at times seems to be) over-zealous protocol of doctors.  Instead, my hope and trust is in the God who opened my womb and filled it with two blessings, who hears my prayers, and who already knows the end of the story.  It is from Him my joy and optimism come, for I know that His character and His plan does not change just because I'm having twins.

My Husband

Today I am thinking about my husband and all the reasons I am so thankful to be his wife and the mother of his children....

• Travis loves, fears, and obeys God.
• He is growing in his relationship with God and encourages me to do the same.
• He lives with an eternal outlook.
• He abhors what is evil and clings to what is good.
• He loves me unconditionally and serves me sacrificially.
• He knows me better than I know myself... and he loves me anyway.
• He has a good relationship with our children, and they know how much he loves them.
• He takes seriously his role as head of the household, strongly and prayerfully leading us with much wisdom.
• He looks out for the best interest of his wife and children.
• He works hard to provide for his family, but he never puts his work ahead of us.
• When he is here, he is really here, engaging with me and the kids and building memories that will never be forgotten.
• When he sees a problem he is quick to fix it.
• He manages our financial household responsibly.
• He is unselfish with his time and energy.

Travis, I love you and respect you as a man, a Brother in Christ, a husband, a father, and a friend.  I am so blessed to be your wife, and our children are so blessed to be your kids.  I will never stop thanking God for giving you to me.

05/01/09 OB Appointment and NST

Thirty-three weeks pregnant with twins and counting!  This afternoon's schedule was filled with another routine OB appointment and non-stress test, and I am thankful to say that all is still going well!  Maybe a little too well in the weight gain department--I am a little disappointed to say that somehow I put on another 5 1/2 pounds in the past week, putting my total weight gain at about 41 pounds.  A maximum of 45-50 pounds is recommended for a twin pregnancy, and it seems I am approaching that number a little too quickly!  I'm not having any issues with swelling, though, so I guess that is a good sign.

My weight isn't the only thing going up.  My blood pressure seems to be slowly rising over the past few weeks, as well, running a little high for me but still in a normal range.  The doctor commented that it is normal to see an increase in blood pressure in the latter weeks of a twin pregnancy; and while they will keep an eye on mine if it continues to rise, he isn't at all concerned at this point.

The only measurement that (seemingly) didn't go up this week was my fundal height.  Last week I measured 38 cm and today only 37 cm.  I questioned the doctor about this, and he basically said it's just a matter of which doctor does the measuring.  I'm fairly certain that I did indeed grow this past week, and I think it's unfortunate that because I saw a different doctor than usual I can't really accurately track that growth.  Apparently, it doesn't matter all that much to the doctors, though, since the twins growth is being tracked via ultrasounds and not by fundal height measurements.

Remember yesterday's post?  We think that Baby B has very recently turned into more of a head-down position, and I was hoping to have that confirmed by the doctor today.  However, when I asked if he could tell by feel where the babies are positioned, he simply said it's too hard to tell with twins and didn't even try.  Oh, well....

Overall, the doctor was very optimistic about the way my pregnancy is going.  He said that if there is going to be a problem with a pregnancy it has usually become apparent by this point and that he has no concerns for mine (pregnancy, that is).  Comments like these are, of course, encouraging and empowering; but they also drive me to praise God for my health and that of my babies!

After my OB appointment I spent two hours on the Labor & Delivery floor for the second of a series of weekly non-stress tests.  Just over an hour of that was spent on the monitors (both babies looked great!), and the rest of the time was spent waiting in the triage room for the first available nurse to get me hooked up.  Perhaps God ordained that extended period of waiting, for in the room next to me was a woman 36 weeks pregnant with twins who was about to be wheeled back for an emergency cesarean.  As I overheard the details of her situation, I was able to cry out to God on behalf of her and her babies and then to spend some time in prayer for my own babies.  How thankful I am to have a God who hears my prayers....