Taking Heed

Last night I prayed a scary prayer: Lord, empty me of myself.

I've seen this past week that the beginning of the new year has given me a chance to refocus. I have felt for a while now that I've been in a bit of a dry spell, spiritually speaking; but with this new beginning has come new mercies ("It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23 KJV) and renewed desire: desire to be in the Word, desire to pray, and desire to grow.

As I have been spending more time in the Word and in prayer--and even doing a good deed here and there--I have recognized in myself a dangerous attitude of pride creeping up. Do you know the feeling? I stayed up late to read my Bible and pray instead of going to bed. I'm feeling pretty good about myself.... I really helped that person out. Now others are going to think pretty highly of me.... Pretty ugly thoughts, huh?!

So, last night I said to God, "God, this is a scary thing to pray, but... empty me of myself." And then He brought an old song to my mind.

It's all about You, Jesus.
And all this is for You, for Your glory and Your fame.
It's not about me....

It's not about me. Without Him, I am nothing and can do nothing. It is only because of Him that I can pray and that I can thirst for His word and that I can desire to know Him more. It is only because of Him that I can love and that I can serve and that I can grow.

1 Corinthians 10:12 says, "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall." Today, I am taking heed.

It Finally Clicked!

I'm not sure how it happened, but it finally did.  Amariah is potty trained!  A few days ago she finally started telling me when she needed to go to the bathroom--before it was too late.

It's been a long road getting to this point.  I first started setting Amariah on the toilet around 1 year of age.  You wouldn't think potty training should span a 1 1/2 year period; apparently, she wasn't ready and I wasn't committed.  (Although, to give myself a bit of a break, part of that time I simply wasn't able to commit--I was pregnant with twins, and then I had twins!) :-)  My lack of commitment led to a lot of inconsistency, and her lack of interest led to a lot of frustration (which led to more inconsistency...).  I tried a wide gamut of approaches: from discipline to reward and from encouragement to threats, nothing I did seemed to work.

A couple months ago I finally started telling people, "She is potty trained (i.e. I have done the training).  Now she just has to decide to do it."  Things weren't looking very promising, and then suddenly... something clicked!  And boy, am I and the budget and the washing machine glad!

Just Another Day

Isn't it neat how we parents grow as our family grows?  I remember looking at large families before having children of my own and thinking, How on earth do they manage?!  And then when I became a slightly overwhelmed mother of one, I realized what a wonderful thing it was that I didn't have to become a mother of several all at once--I would have a chance to grow along with my family, one baby (or two!) at a time.

I never could have foreseen my husband and myself doing what we did today.  In sub-zero weather, we (along with what must have been the rest of the Des Moines populous :-)) ventured out for our monthly trip to Costco with two toddlers and two infants in tow.  I wonder if it was apparent to our fellow shoppers why we were buying in bulk.... :-)

One of the best things about having four children under four years of age (two of them being infants) is that Travis and I really have to work as a team.  When Abel and Amariah both announced they needed to go to the bathroom about halfway through the trip, all six of us had to make our way to the front of the store.  While Travis manned the cart full of merchandise and the stroller full of babies, I took Abel and Amariah into the extremely busy women's restroom.  Seeing that there was no way three people in winter coats were going to fit in one stall, I sent Abel in one by himself and went into another with Amariah.  Although it was a little nerve racking, Abel was very obedient and stayed put and we made it out okay... minus one of Amariah's barrettes which somehow managed to fall into the toilet as she was peering over it to admire her work. :-)

Another of the best things about having four children under four years of age is that all kinds of people go out of their way to get a peek at our children and to make their comments.  Many people want to tell us about the twins in their own family.  Others want to ask how old they are.  Some want to let us know that we must be crazy to have four young children.  And a few want to share in our joy and acknowledge that we are blessed. My favorite of these encounters today was with an older woman.  Seeing the double stroller, she approached to get a look at the babies and to ask how old they are.  After proceeding to express how glad she was that she isn't me, she realized that there were two more children standing beside the stroller who also belong to me and said as she walked away, "Okay, you do deserve a reward."

Four years ago, I probably would have agreed with her.  But today, this blessed mother of four would say that it's just another day.

A New Beginning

I like new beginnings--a chance to look back and a chance to start over.  I wish I had it so together that I didn't need a fresh start--that I was so perfect I could just keep doing exactly what I'm doing and be fine; but even the most devoted Christian and the most noble wife and the most loving mother falls short of perfect.  Even though I know I'll never be perfect this side of heaven, it is still the desire of my heart to try.  The Christian/wife/mother who finds herself no longer trying finds herself in a dangerous place.  After all, every relationship--be it your relationship with God, your spouse, or your children--requires effort.  And I guess that's where the need for a new beginning--a fresh start--comes in.

My husband asked me this morning, "So if you could change jobs for the new year, would you?"  My answer, of course, was no--I love being a stay-at-home mom.  But who hasn't had days where you'd be tempted to say yes?... Yes, I want out of these circumstances.... Yes, I am tired of trying....

Sometimes it gets hard to keep putting forth the effort that a healthy relationship requires.  It's hard to set aside purposeful time to spend with God.  It's hard to selflessly give your energies (or what's left of them) to your husband at the end of a long day.  It's hard to put work aside in the interest of spending quality time with your children.  It's hard to love.  It's hard to serve.  It's hard to_____.... And because it's hard--and because I'm human--I fail.

I fail, but I don't give up.

I never officially "make" New Year's resolutions, but I like September's idea of choosing a theme for the new year--an area in which I need growth and in which I will strive to better meet God's standard.  Thinking back over the past year, it seems like maybe the Lord has been showing me that the area I need growth in is my relationships--especially my relationship with Him, with my husband, and with my children.  I'm not exactly sure what this process of growth will require of me, but I am sure that it will be a process and that it will be hard.

As I stand at this new beginning, I praise God that His Word will be a light unto my path and that His mercies will be new every morning!

6 Months, 10 Things, and 4 Reasons...

Where does the time go? December is already half over, 2010 is almost here, and my baby girls are 6 1/2 months old! On Friday I took them to their 6-month well child exam, and here is what we learned....

Isabel
Length: 24 in (5-10th percentile)
Weight: 13 lbs (5-10th percentile)

Elliana
Length: 25 3/4 in (50th percentile)
Weight: 14 lbs 2 oz (10-25th percentile)

Developmentally speaking, we are really getting into a fun stage with the girls. In addition to doing all the things growing babies do, they are starting to interact with each other and with Abel and Amariah; and that has been truly amazing to watch.

10 Things About Isabel at 6 Months

• getting closer to sitting up without help
• reaches for everything
• laughs silently or with her fist in her mouth most of the time
• loves to be "in the action"
• stands on her tiptoes (with support)
• busts her legs out of all snap-up sleepers
• holds her toes
• plays with her voice by gurgling or inhaling loudly (and subsequently choking herself)
• moves around the floor by spinning and "crab walking" (lifting her butt off the floor and pushing with her feet)
• sleeps on her side with her arms over her face

10 Things About Elliana at 6 Months

• sits with help
• strives to have her feet within reach of anything she can kick
• stifles her laugh by stuffing her fist in her mouth
• loves to be held or to lay at our feet
• stands (with support) for a time before decidedly and heavily collapsing onto her butt
• lying flat on her back, holds her arms and legs out stiff just above the floor and twirls her wrists and ankles
• holds her toes
• plays with her voice by loudly squealing, "coughing," and spitting
• tries to scoot and/or express excitement by doing the "worm squirm" (writhing her head and body in a snake-like fashion)
• sleeps and eats with her hands resting on the top of her head

And finally,...

4 Reasons Why I'm a Happy Mommy

(L to R): Abel (3 yrs 8 mos), Elliana (6 mos), Amariah (2 yrs 5 mos), Isabel (6 mos)

Kids Say, vol. 4

On the heels of my last post, I just overheard this conversation and thought it would be appropriate to share.  You've got to love the brutal honesty.... :-)

Abel:  Sometimes we fight.
Amariah:  Yeah.
Abel:  And sometimes we be naughty.
Amariah:  Yeah.
Abel:  Sometimes we cry.
Amariah:  Yeah.
Abel:  And sometimes we throw fits.

A Promise Realized

When I first became a mom, it didn't take me long to realize that there is temptation to sin even within the realm of parenthood.  How many times in Scripture are parents instructed to "train," "discipline," and "correct" their children?  And yet, as my firstborn (Abel) grew and the sin nature began to rear its ugly head in him, I often found myself growing weary of training, disciplining, and correcting; and at those times I was very tempted to simply ignore the wrong behavior of my son because it was easier than dealing with it.

I'm not going to claim that I've never given into that temptation.  I have.  It's hard to be consistent and persistent.  BUT, as I continually realize, it's worth it.

Tonight I was sitting in the kitchen with Abel, now 3 1/2 years old; and as we visited and laughed together, my heart was blessed.  His polite words, his happy countenance, his sincere laugh... it was pleasant to be in his company.  And I was reminded of a promise in Scripture that I have been clinging to for a few years:  "Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; he will also delight your soul" (Proverbs 29:17).

I am so glad that God has given (and is giving) me the wisdom and the patience to persevere in parenthood.  I am glad that giving into the temptation to ignore wrong behavior has not been par for the course of my parenting, because as Scripture says, "a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother" (Proverbs 29:15).


I am thankful for a son who gives me comfort and who delights my soul.  My Abel.  I love him.