"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus."
Americans, you are living in a time and place where life just seems to naturally require a lot of stuff. Clothes, toys, furniture, appliances, books, electronics, and all the things that make your home yours add up to a lot of stuff--whether or not you are a collector of clutter. This becomes no more evident than when it comes time to move. Emotional aspects aside, your stuff--as well as your limited resources of time and money--can make a move rather difficult and daunting.
BUT... what if you had access to information that could help you to "build" an easier move? MoveBuilder's moving blog is just that place. At The Blueprint, as it is called, you can get all the tools and information you need to help your move go smoothly. Their informative posts cover topics such as packing tips, parking issues, storage solutions, and relocation advice; and their site even offers an "ask the experts" tool where you can ask your questions about moving. Moving is a lot of work, so let The Blueprint be your guide!
Four and a half years ago, I was a totally overwhelmed new mommy. I couldn't figure out how to get sleep. I couldn't figure out how to get a shower. I couldn't figure out where I would get the energy and motivation to cook and clean ever again. If I hadn't believed beforehand that I would need help, I believed it now.
We had asked my mom to stay with us for a couple weeks following Abel's birth; but it seems to me that my reasoning for that was initially more geared toward having her near to enjoy the new baby (since we were at the time living eight and a half hours away from my parents) rather than having her near to help me with the new baby. How hard could it be, right?
Wrong! I may be a well-adjusted mother now, but I sure didn't feel like one in those initial weeks of motherhood. Not only was I sleep-deprived, un-showered, un-dressed, and sore, I was learning to embrace a new identity that wasn't so much about me anymore.
Up until the day that Abel was born, I was working in a job that I absolutely loved. I was good at what I did, and I had favor with my bosses, my co-workers, and my customers. I was productive, and I was valuable. My work was noticed, and it was rewarded in tangible ways such as compliments, raises, and promotions. That was, to a degree, my identity.
Now, I didn't have an identity (or at least that's how I felt). Nothing was about me any longer. It was all about the new baby and his incessant needs. Overnight, I had gone from a life of "freedom and success" to a life of service and selflessness. And it wasn't easy. In fact, it was rather a shock. I remember one afternoon in those initial days. I sat at the dining room table, still in my pajamas, body aching, desperate for sleep, and I said as I laid my forehead down on the table, "I just want to like... check out of life for a while." You see, motherhood was forcing me to learn selflessness; and it was painful.
At the end of those first two weeks, it came time for my mom to leave. I can't deny that I was scared. She had been doing all the cooking and cleaning and laundry and probably more, and I still hadn't figured out how on earth I was going to do everything I had been doing plus all of that. But, as much as I didn't want her to leave, it was obviously the right thing. She couldn't stay forever; after all, this was to be my life now, and I was going to have to learn how to handle it one way or another.
It's fun, now, to think back on those days and to see how far the road of Motherhood has brought me--from saying, "I just want to like... check out of life for while," to saying, "I'm okay with this." Our old pastor used to say that marriage isn't only something that makes you more happy but also something that makes you more holy. I have learned that the same is true of motherhood. As I am daily learning this life of selflessness and service to my family--and even as I recognize my own faults in my children--I am being sanctified.
Indeed, time has brought me a long ways. I still don't have everything figured out--and probably never will--but overall things are running smoothly. To you new mommies out there, rest assured. It does get easier. And to you seasoned mommies out there, aren't you glad that it does? :-)
When I was a new mom I remember having people tell me, "Choose your battles." Now, I won't claim to know exactly what the hearts of those various people were in giving that advice; but to me it meant, "Choose to let some things go so that you don't have to fight with your child."
I realize that to some people, "choosing your battles" may not mean that at all. In fact, I myself have had to learn to "choose my battles" in the manner of using the word "No" with good reason rather than with mere selfishness or laziness. For other parents, "choosing your battles" may mean something more along the lines of choosing not to care when it legitimately doesn't matter--like when Amariah asks if she can sleep in the dress that she wore all day.
However, what I suspect is that for many parents "choosing your battles" means choosing not to make an issue out of something that is perhaps a true issue. In this case, what I believe lies at the heart of that decision is a type of parental fear--fear of how the child will respond to correction. Let me say, first of all, that I am not totally guilt-free when it comes to this parental fear thing. From the time Amariah was born, she has always had the loudest, shrillest cry of any child I've ever known. And, there are certain times and certain settings that I feel held hostage to the fear that if I make Amariah cry, she will make me regret it. Therefore, I must shamefully admit that there have probably been times that I haven't dealt with an issue as I should have. Despite that, I do not support the idea of bowing to parental fear when it comes to training and disciplining your children. Why? Because its obvious result is a lack of proper training and discipline and a child who remains in charge.
The tough thing about child training is that the more you don't do it, the more you need to. However, that is also the beautiful thing about child training. The sooner you do it, the less you need to. The sooner you train your child to obey and respect you, the less need you will have to discipline them. The particular action of your toddler may not seem like that big of a deal (for instance, hesitating or failing to come when told); but the heart attitude behind it is a big deal. If a toddler learns that he won't be made to obey a simple command like "Come," the seeds of his thinking that he is in charge (and isn't he really?) have already been sown. And with each additional instance of allowed disobedience, a little water falls on those seeds until before you even know what happened, you have a full grown plant of disobedience throwing a tantrum on the floor in the middle of the grocery store. What about that battle? Will you choose it, or will you fearfully offer an ice cream cone if he'll get up and be quiet?... Wouldn't it have been much easier to have chosen a few battles prior to now, your victory in which would have probably warded this one off in the first place?
I am not Super Mom, and I do not write this post in an attempt to boast about the parenting skills that I may or may not have or the "perfect" behavior that my kids may or may not display; but I do think that God has given Travis and me the wisdom to do our parts in fostering hearts of obedience and respect in our children. A heart that obeys and respects an earthly mother and father will certainly have a stronger propensity for one day obeying and respecting the Heavenly Father.
No one ever said parenting is easy. It's not. One sinful-by-nature person trying to teach another sinful-by-nature person to not be naughty isn't easy. But, it doesn't have to be so hard, either. See the bigger picture; take heart; and choose to, in the most loving of ways, do battle against the sin that rears its ugly head in even the youngest of children.
For some additional teaching on how to train your children before the need to discipline arises, check out To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl.
"The point at which many marriages jump the track is in over-investing in children and under-investing in the marriage." (Elizabeth George, A Woman After God's Own Heart (Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 2006), 94.)
Any mother of young children would probably agree that it can be hard to make your husband your number one human relationship. Children--specifically those of the preschool sort--are legitimately needy individuals whose needs are usually best met by one person: Mommy. Indeed, a mommy stays quite busy tending to the needs of her children alone, let alone those of her husband, her home, and herself. And in the busyness of our mommy-child relationships, we sometimes neglect the one that should come first--the husband-wife relationship.
When Travis and I were about to get married (and even on occasion since we've been married), Travis' mom would lovingly advise him, "Never stop dating your wife." Now on the tail end of spending the first five years of our marriage pregnant, nursing, and pregnant again, I have at last had a moment to take a deep breath and to more fully appreciate the wisdom of her advice. It is in good company with the teaching of Elizabeth Elliot who encourages women of the importance of developing a friendship with their husbands. Couples must realize that merely partnering in parental duties is not an adequate investment in their marriage. We live in a busy world, and intentional steps must be taken to maintain and to grow the husband-wife relationship.
One of the intentional steps that Travis and I make to accommodate our friendship is to put the kids to bed early. This gives us time to spend alone together--time where we and not our children are our focus. In fact, we frequently have "date nights" in our own basement while the kids are upstairs sleeping. We'll rent a movie, turn out the lights, snuggle up on the couch under a blanket, and just be together. (It may not involve dressing up and actually going somewhere; but it's easier, cheaper, and more comfortable! :-))
Our date night this weekend was spent just that way, watching one of the best movies I've seen in a while: Amazing Grace. From the back of the movie, Amazing Grace is the "inspiring story of how one man's passion and perseverance changed the world. Based on the true story of William Wilberforce, Amazing Grace follows his courageous quest to end the British slave trade. Along the way, Wilberforce meets intense opposition from members of Parliament but his minister, John Newton, a reformed slave ship captain who penned the beloved hymn "Amazing Grace," urges him to see the cause through."
My heart was truly stirred as I watched and considered the fact that not so many years ago human lives were so abused and so devalued. I found myself wondering what it would have been like to live in that day (and thankful that I didn't). And I found myself grateful for that Christian man who fought so hard to change the world.
This morning Travis and I walked into church to the indescribably beautiful sound of a choir of students who are visiting here from the Zambia International Bible College. As I, on the heels of watching Amazing Grace, watched and listened to their song of praise to God for His salvation, my heart was again stirred. I wept in thankfulness to God that because the slavery of African people--His people--has been abolished, these Brothers and Sisters in Christ could today stand before our church and minister in song of the saving grace of our great God.
At a weathered picnic table under a tree, sitting beside one complete stranger and across from another--that is where Jesus saved me.
I think I was about 8 years of age that summer. A friend of my younger sister's had invited us to go to Camp JOY with her and her sisters in Alma, Nebraska, not far from where we grew up. Despite my initial reluctance to subject myself to a strange place full of strange faces--and to miss softball to boot--we went. During the chapel service one day, the speaker asked who in the room had never asked Jesus into her heart. I knew all about Jesus. My parents and grandparents were Christians, we attended church and Sunday School, I loved reading stories from my children's Bible. But, I hadn't ever asked Jesus into my heart. So... I truthfully raised my hand. The next thing I knew, those of us who had dared be so honest were being called to action. My immediate thoughts were, "Oh no! What have I done?! Was it a trick question? I said I've never asked Jesus into my heart, not that I'm ready to ask Jesus into my heart!" Afraid, I walked to the back of the chapel with the other boys and girls who had raised their hands, and I along with one other girl was paired up with one of the camp counselors.
The three of us found a private place to sit and talk--a weathered picnic table sitting under the shade of a large tree. I don't remember what exactly we talked about, but I do remember that as we talked, my feelings of fear were replaced with a longing for Jesus. The other girl and I both prayed, confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior and asking Him to come into our hearts. I remember the feeling of inexpressible joy that filled me. It was unexplainable to me, but I liked it... and I didn't want it to ever go away.
Years passed by, and despite my lack of growth as a Christian, the Source of my joy never left me. I went through school a "good" girl with good morals and a strong conscience; and I was known and respected for that. It wasn't until after high school that I discovered that this, and not my faith in God, was all I was known for.
You see, it wasn't until after high school that I really began drawing near to God. My first semester of college I was taking a required course called Introduction to Biblical Studies, and much of my homework for that class was simply reading assigned portions of Scripture. Although I had been a Christian for many years, I had never read much of the Bible; and as I did so for that class, I was amazed by what a wealth of knowledge and wisdom God's Word contains. At the end of that semester I began my own plan to read through the entire Bible in one year. The more of God's Word that I read, the greater my desire to know Him grew. I longed for Him to reveal more of Himself to me and confessed in prayer that I wanted to know Him more. It was in that time of deep longing and searching that God began to teach me a valuable lesson: "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8a). And that is what I did--and am doing.
More years have passed, bringing along with them the ups and the downs; but one thing--One Person--has remained constant through it all. The Joy that filled my heart that fateful day at Camp JOY is here to stay. It is Him that I love. It is Him that I live for. It is Him that I look for. One day He Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and those who are in Christ will be caught up together to meet Him in the air and to live with Him forever (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17). On that Day, this story--my testimony to Him--will be finally complete. Until then, I will continue to write it with my life.
We are now in our sixth week of homeschooling with Sonlight, and while the initial over-excitement which drove Abel to lay out the next day's special clothes every night at bedtime and to urgently wake me up in the morning with, "School, Mom!" has worn off, all of us are still looking forward to--and loving--every moment of school.
As I was telling Travis a few days ago, I can tell that homeschooling has already been good for our family. Abel and Amariah both seem to be becoming more well-mannered, Amariah is becoming more self-motivated and more articulate, and Isabel and Elliana are becoming book-lovers by observation. All of this, I believe, directly relates to the increased amount of purposeful time the kids and I are spending together (which is, of course, a perk for me, too!).
It is in part this purposeful togetherness which the Sonlight curriculum fosters that has made homeschooling such a blessing and enjoyment to us all. The time we spend side-by-side on the couch with a stack of great books has become for all of us a special time of bonding, learning, laughing, and loving; and I wouldn't trade that for the world!
I've been busy... messing with my blog, that is! After 2 1/2 years, "Angela's Blog" finally has a name. :-) Eternal Outlook is the name of the website that houses both Travis' blog and mine and was in fact named such based on the content and focus of our blogs. Therefore, it only seems appropriate that angela.eternaloutlook.com also be named "Eternal Outlook." Check out my new About Me page, linked at the top of my blog header, for a brief explanation of my blog's new name! Also accessible from that link bar is My Bookshelf--books I have read or am currently reading and which I highly recommend--and My Testimony.
![Eternal Outlook [with Angela]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpZSsopFkIjSTQ0Jfl0qkGzXGqkas7MaAv980lOX4Co75X2tY8PKsmTl-m9TEKsUxVutyLdT0M6BCQwwSpGU8krP51FS-w8RZyjuUr8Bp3DQJ33Ojga2aFjqoseBGGKS0_3vZdtrf8fEP1/s1600/Angela%2527s+Header+2011-1.jpg)
