Titus 2:11-13

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus."

Friday, February 5, 2010

I'm Okay With This

This morning I was standing in my bedroom folding my mountain of laundry, and as I looked out the window at the snow falling to the ground, I thought to myself, I'm okay with this.

The theme of my life for the last 8 1/2 months has been, "It's just a season." Remember when I said I was falling apart just to hold it together? Life with twins has definitely required some temporary changes. The most major of those changes has been that I have had to be more tied to the home. (Let's face it--going places with two nursing babies just isn't as easy as going places with one.) It's not that I wasn't committed to my home before the twins were born; it's just that I had more flexibility to get out when I wanted or needed to.

Don't get me wrong--I am totally content with my circumstances. But there are times when I have to remind myself, It's just a season. And it's at those times that my very next thought tends to be, Maybe next year....

Last summer I really wanted for us to go to our church's family camp. But when we thought through the logistics of taking two 2-month old babies who were still nursing--and then napping--every three hours around the clock, we said, "Maybe next year...."

This past December when it came time to do our Christmas shopping, I really wanted to be the one to go shopping. But when we realized that it would be more work for me than it was worth, we said, "Next year...."

When I learned that some new women's Bible studies were getting under way at our church this month, I really wanted to join one. But when I considered that the babies' bedtime routine falls right in the midst of the group's meeting time, I said, "Maybe next year...."

But today, in spite of those few momentary disappointments that have come from our need for me to just stay home, it was in that moment when I looked at the snowy world on the other side of the window that I really realized just how okay I am with being tied to the home. I love being a mommy. I love that the Lord has blessed my husband with a job that provides for our needs so that I can stay at home and be a mommy. And I love the four little people who make me a mommy. I am blessed beyond measure, I'm a little tied down, and I'm okay with that... because I'm right where I want to be.


Jenilee said...

I can relate. I don't have nursing twins, but I did have a just 3 yr old, a 1 yr old and a nursing newborn. They are older now and there are still days that I just have to be content staying at home. And, I'm ok with that too. It does get easier to go out but being a mommy will mean sacrificing for many years. I'm so thankful that God teaches us about our heart through our kids! Great post!

Stefanie said...

Your post came a good time. Just this morning I was thinking about how jealous I am of Elliot because when Landen got up at 6:40, he stayed in bed while I got up. Then at 9 while I was trying to squeeze in a little more sleep on the couch, Elliot said he was leaving to go to the shop to work on some of his projects. I felt jealous of him this morning because he can "escape" for a while I'm home and can barely manage to get a shower let alone even consider a project I want to work on. I still feel like I need some time away from my kids for a while, but you encouraged me to try to be more ok with just staying home and being Mommy. Thanks!

September said...

Great Post Angela. You are really going to enjoy the years to come, since you are able yo fgind peace in the midst of these growing and nurturing years. I am so thankful for reading your blog,, your post was truly inspiring and encouraging, and I know that you will bless the hearts of many moms though your words of honest and truthful words.
Keep pressing on!~

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