A Renewed Focus

"She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." (Proverbs 31:27)

The past several days, as I have been acting on my recent conviction that I've been spending too much time online and not enough on task, I have been taking extra effort to stay busy about my home.  After about a two-year break from purposely following the "Daily Household Task Schedule" which I created for myself during our first year of marriage and which worked so well to keep me on task and in control, I finally made the choice a couple days ago to buckle down and start using it again.

I am the kind of person who likes the feeling of accomplishment that comes from crossing something off a list... and from adding something to the list just so I can cross it off. :-)  I am also the kind of person who likes to keep a neat and clean home.  That being said, all I can figure as to why I've spent the last 18 months or so doing only enough to get by is that at some point I lost my focus.  I lost my focus, and laziness crept in.

The funny thing is that no one would have known by walking into my house or even by snooping in the hidden places that I really wasn't working all that hard.  Yes, the bathrooms were clean, the bed was made, the dishes were done, the countertops were cleared, the floors were scrubbed... the work was pretty much getting done.  But, there was also a lot of time getting wasted.

I know, I shouldn't be too hard on myself.  After all, I am talking about a period of time in which I was completing a full term pregnancy with twins, nursing twins, mothering four children, and leaning to feed my family more healthily.  In proportion to the level of energy I had during that time, I suppose I was quite busy.  However, I am looking back now and thinking that I probably wasn't making the most of the time and energy that was available.  I was physically tired and therefore unmotivated to do more than I had to do to get by.  I became slightly selfish with my energies,  preferring at times to eat the bread of idleness instead of to look well to the ways of my household.

Perhaps there might be an argument for the allowance of some degree of seasonal idleness.  The problem, though, is that my seasonal idleness grew into a habit of laziness.  By the time the season ended and my energies returned, my focus had been lost.  Doing just enough to get by may have been excusable for a time, but that time is over.

We talked a little bit about this verse from Proverbs 31:27 at my women's Bible study last night; and as we did so, I pondered in my heart all of the things that are written here.  I found myself smiling at God for the way He is never idle in encouraging me to seek the best He has for me.  He watches over my ways.  He knows my faults and failures.  And He gives me mercies that are new every morning.  Oh, how I need that!

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